Hardcore Twenty-Four: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Product Description Janet Evanovich’s #1 New York Times bestselling sensation Stephanie Plum returns in her twenty-forth thriller as mutilated corpses litter the streets of New Jersey... Trouble comes in bunches for Stephanie Plum. First, professional grave robber and semi-professional loon, Simon Diggery, won’t let her take him in until she agrees to care for his boa constrictor, Ethel. Stephanie’s main qualification for babysitting an extremely large snake is that she owns a stun gun—whether that’s for use on the wandering serpent or the petrified neighbors remains to be seen. Events take a dark turn when headless bodies start appearing across town. At first, it’s just corpses from a funeral home and the morgue that have had the heads removed. But when a homeless man is murdered and dumped behind a church Stephanie knows that she’s the only one with a prayer of catching this killer. If all that’s not enough, Diesel’s back in town. The 6-foot-tall, blonde-haired hunk is a man who accepts no limits—that includes locked doors, closed windows and underwear. Trenton’s hottest cop, Joe Morelli isn’t pleased at this unexpected arrival nor is Ranger, the high-powered security consultant who has his own plans for Stephanie. As usual Jersey’s favorite bounty hunter is stuck in the middle with more questions than answers. What’s the deal with Grandma Mazur’s latest online paramour? Who is behind the startling epidemic of mutilated corpses? And is the enigmatic Diesel’s sudden appearance a coincidence or the cause of recent deadly events?   About the Author Janet Evanovich is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Stephanie Plum series, the Fox and O’Hare series, the Lizzy and Diesel series, the Alexandra Barnaby novels and Troublemaker graphic novel, and How I Write: Secrets of a Bestselling Author. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Simon Diggery and Ethel, his pet boa constrictor, were up a tree about fifty feet from Simon’s rust bucket doublewide.  Ethel looked comfy draped over a branch halfway up the tree.  Simon looked like death warmed over.  He was scrunched into a crook a couple feet below Ethel.  He was barefoot, wearing striped pajamas, and his grey hair was even more of a mess than usual. My name is Stephanie Plum. I work as a bond enforcement officer in Trenton, New Jersey, and Simon was in violation of his bond.  Simon is a professional grave robber.  When he gets caught robbing a grave my cousin Vinnie is his bail bondsman of choice.  Vinnie posts a cash bond guaranteeing the court that if Simon is released he will return when scheduled.  If Simon doesn’t show up on time, I’m sent out to fetch him.  I was presently standing a respectable distance from the tree, looking up at Simon, keeping a watch on Ethel.  I was with my sidekick, Lula. If Lula was a pastry she’d be a big chocolate cupcake with a lot of frosting.  I’d be more of a croissant with a ponytail.  I have curly shoulder length brown hair, blue eyes, and some people think I look like Julia Roberts on her day off.  “Simon,” Lula yelled.  “What the heck are you and Ethel doing in the tree?” “I been up here since last night,” Simon said.  “I’m afraid to come down on account of the zombies.” “You gotta stop drinking that home-made grain liquor,” Lula said.  “I wasn’t drinking,” Simon said.  “I was working my trade at that cemetery on Morley Street last night, and I accidentally dug into a zombie portal.” “Say what?” Lula said.  “I never heard of no zombie portal.” “It’s not widely publicized that they exist.  Mostly people in my profession know about it.  It’s an occupational hazard.  I only dug into a portal once before, and I was able to beat the zombies back with my shovel, but this time was a whole other deal.  There was too many of them, so I ran for my truck and took off.  Only thing is they tracked me down.  They got a real good sense of smell.  They’re like raggedy bloodhounds.  They come at me when I w