Description
Review "This upcoming coffee table book (which is probably inappropriate for most coffee tables) by Daniel Cole Young keeps it simple and relies on that great tenet of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia": Poo is funny. Always." ― Metro New York Product Description Every time the bathroom door closes, a new experience awaits. Kama Pootra is the ultimate poop gag gift for adults.The average human performs approximately 25,000 bowel movements in their lifetime. Sadly, most people never depart from the first poop position they were taught as children. However, there exists another way ― fifty-two, in fact!The Kama Pootra is the authoritative educational guide for a new and exciting pooping experience, a governing handbook of free-thinking bathroom conduct. Within these pages, students will find new positions for home or work, alone or with friends, with or without the use of common household items. These lessons are the first step on the tiled path to an enlightened bathroom experience.Place it on the porcelain throne in your guest bathroom for a laugh or give it as a raunchy white elephant gift to a family member. Either way, the Kama Pootra is the perfect poop gag gift for men ― or anyone who can't help but giggle at funny poop gifts. There's an entire world of poo-sitions to explore! About the Author Daniel Cole Young is a former radio contest writer who works as a consultant for major Hollywood studios. Young earned degrees in Computer Science and French at UC Davis and studied abroad in Paris and Grenoble. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. From Solo:The Kama Pootra begins as a personal study of reflection and meditation. Before one can understand the Kama Pootra, he must possess an open mind freed from any preconceived notions about bathroom behavior. The positions presented in this chapter are intended for the student alone. To begin, familiarize yourself with your surroundings: the coolness of a porcelain toilet, the contours of a tiled floor, the silken touch of toilet paper. Survey your anatomy with a close examination of what Arthur Rimbaud, the nineteenth-century French poet, referred to as the "enticing olive."* If you have never seen yourself in stark detail, try crouching over a carefully angled hand mirror.Once you have an understanding of your body type and anatomy, you may begin to try the basic positions of the Kama Pootra. It is certain that some of these tasks may be uncomfortable at first, but remember that hard work is always plentifully rewarded in the bathroom.The Gold StandardThe Gold Standard is the foundation for all poop studies included in this book. When boys and girls enter into bathroom maturity―a good number by age three and some prodigious children as early as six months―this basic position is the first pose taught in Western toilet centric cultures. It is remarkable for its simplicity and undemanding physical nature. A famous Zimbabwean proverb stipulates, "If you can speak, you can sing. If you can walk, you can dance." Likewise: if you can sit, you can poop.The ThinkerThis is the premier position for deep contemplation. Many of the great philosophers in history used bathroom time to formulate theories about human nature. Take time to ponder life's greatest questions:· What is the source of my happiness?· Am I eating healthy enough?· When did I eat so much corn?90 DegreesThis position utilizes the full curvature of the toilet seat for a more well-rounded experience. Students with larger bottoms (water buffalo or elephants) will find that the 90 Degrees position is more comfortable because additional width is afforded by sitting perpendicular. This position is also useful for unsecured restrooms in that it allows greater options to observe the door directly.The LotusThis position is achieved by intertwining the legs upon the toilet seat to gain what the maharishis call "toilet levitation." The Lotus position is an excellent way to meditate
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